WOW thank you again... it's my 7th DD, i know that some other ppl would love to get only one, but still i am sooooo honored and proud to have my 7th now. THANK YOU cloe-patra for the suggestion and Kaz-D for featuring!!
plus my new lens arrived today the 85mm 1.8, i am excited to test it and show you my results very soon
i am so happy! deviantart has a new option, it allows you to change your username now!
i was always so desperate about the old one, "suicide-bee". i made that account almost 7 years ago, not knowing that it will become that popular... and of course everyone asked "why did you pick "suicide-bee"?. youthful folly!
on the other side i'm a little sad too, but i think my real name just fits better in here!
Today i met Lotte, a model from Amsterdam. She was around my hometown for several shootings... and wanted to shoot with me as well. Said yes, planned alot and it totally blew my mind. she is so damn good. and such a nice person to hang out with.
I think you all have recognized my acitvity the last days i am so happy to be back... i never thought this would ever happen again. After my stay in the hospital and the long lasting suffer... i felt so empty. no ideas. no creativity at all. not the slightest idea how to retouch or to shoot now. it was hopeless. i was so into my real life, with friends - wanted to feel alive. because i didn't felt it for months. my camera was useless for me. maybe it was because i wanted more than my old camera could ever give to me. And this very special day i had a phone call with my aunt... in which she told me that i should goddamn buy this new cam, EOS 5D MK II, because she thinks it would be wasted talent if i won't try to get back. we had a long talk. she said that photography is a part of myself that i had lost somewhere in the course of my sickness... and this opened my eyes somehow. honest words from a person i love. and so i ordered the cam, had my first shooting and was so blown away. somehow my motivation was there again. my head is not empty as it felt like before. i have ideas, ambitions, dreams, hope again. this emptyness was unbearable.